Even more than what we personally see, our view of Jos is informed by the people we meet and interact with. We enjoy the opportunities we have to chat about how and why things are the way they seem to be here in Jos. Seeing Barb and Frank last Thursday night was a great treat, as we’ve shared many experiences together in Madison and now here in Nigeria as well. They’ve had an outstanding trip here all around and it was interesting to hear some of their experiences and insights. Tonight, we had the special treat of going out for Chinese food with the Isicheis, their good friend Fava, Sharon Hale, and Biana Grogg.
Marriage and family are very strong values in Nigerian culture. We were privileged to attend the wedding of one of the staff I’ve worked with at FA on Saturday. It was a Christian ceremony similar to ones we have in the U.S. except that it wasn’t in English, and was an hour and a half once it started (an hour later than stated). It was a joyful event to be part of. Family issues are complicated among people who are HIV-positive. I’ve recently been involved in the care of women who are now quite sick as a result of their pregnancy, despite extensive counseling by FA regarding the likelihood of highly complicated pregnancies. As more people do well on ARVs, marriage and family are complex emotional, cultural, medical and spiritual issues. While FA strives to support patients as well as possible, the effect of HIV on families is easily observable in the personal stories we hear of spouses and children who have died, and widows who raise their children amidst great challenges.
And so you know that Ryan’s here too, check out some pics – (L-R), a) Ryan, Hillary, Frank and Barb Esselink, b) Fidelis and Nanya’s wedding, c) a cool lizard with an orange head.
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Final destination Denver.
2 comments:
Dear Hillary & Ryan,
I'm praying for you; thanks for the postings! The Moly fish died last week. Both kids were in tears (wails, really) of grief. What a gentle way to learn of death and loss (compared to what families with HIV must go thru). We now have three new "jumbo neons" (which are actually very tiny).
Love, Laurie
Hi Laurie,
Thanks for your note! We knew the mollie was not long for this world. My first experience with death was our dog dying when I was 5, and it was hard.
We are really enjoying the kids and families we're getting to know here. Growing up in Nigeria is very different than in the U.S. The reality of the difference would be very hard to truly communicate with young kids, I think. I think the most any of us can really aim for is a deep sense of gratefulness for all things in life.
I hope Cedar Campus is a very good time for you all (and the weeks apart won't be too long!)
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