HIV and Men

Sunday’s FA support group debate topic was “Why are men dying silently?” Easily ninety percent of support group attendees are female. Roughly 70% of voluntary counseling and HIV testing done at FA is requested by women. Many women find out they are positive after the death of their husbands from undiagnosed AIDS. Here in Jos, there is agreement that the HIV epidemic will not cease until effective ways of reaching and treating men are found. Reasons for the silence men keep are complex. We heard rumors of very rich men who pay to have doctors supply medications outside of hospitals so their status remains unknown; another accounted that her husband took pills for “typhoid” rather than disclose his status to her. The stigma felt by many HIV-positive people is tremendous. A man may even be stigmatized by his wife or close family.

Challenges were made for married women to invite their husbands to the support group. Discouraged women were challenged to never cease praying for their “drunkard, smoking, always going out” loved ones. Attendees were encouraged to speak with their pastors about how church families need to do more to support HIV-positive members. For my part, I was humbled to serve as the “doctor” on the panel as I was challenged to respond to, “what will our society be like if men continue dying in silence?” Beyond major expansion of ARV therapy, the ultimate health of the community depends on the living examples of HIV-affected people telling their stories in ways that others can hear and follow.